Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of LeahsLounge's best tweets

@LeahsLounge : I'm not signing up for the 401k, there's no way I can run that far.

@LeahsLounge: Her: Ok you hang up.

Him: No, you hang up first.

Her: No, you first.

Him: No, you first.

NSA: Both of you hang up.

@LeahsLounge: Anytime I get something stuck in my throat, I drink some beer.

I call this the Heineken maneuver.

@LeahsLounge: If you love something, set it free...

Except if 'It' is a man.

Because he'll get lost,

and won't ask for directions.

@LeahsLounge: I think having a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

@LeahsLounge: 1) Go to Starbucks
2) Order coffee
3) Say your name is Waldo
4) Leave