@Leslie_Annie

Twitter is perfect for extroverted introverts. I want to be social & have lots of friends but I don’t want to leave my house. Or wear pants.

@Leslie_Annie

First rule of Botox club:

Nobody look surprised when someone new joins.

@Leslie_Annie

My 10 yr old daughter was saying how stressful life is but she did add “well, at least I’ve managed to go 10 years without drinking”

@Leslie_Annie

The older I get, the more I understand why Squidward is always so annoyed.

@Leslie_Annie

8 yr old: mommy, why are you laying on the floor?

Me: I just did 438 sit ups.

8: sounds legit.

I’ve taught her well.

@Leslie_Annie

My 4 yr old came in my room last night at 3am. I asked him what was wrong and he said “how many eyebrows do I have?”

@Leslie_Annie

Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.

Thank you. I’ll be here all night.