Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of LipLush1's best tweets

@LipLush1 : Me: you married? Him: separated Me: your wife know about that?

@LipLush1: 30 seconds left on the microwave

~ Women:
set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone

~ Men:
do the space shuttle countdown

@LipLush1: 911: what's your emergency?

me: I taught my Dad how to text

911: the problem ma'am?

me: he CALLS to say "yeah, got ur text"

@LipLush1: You can extend the olive branch..

but you can't beat them over the head with it