@Lisa_Laughs_

Oh, you’re with child? That’s cool. I’m with vodka.
*rubs belly*

@Lisa_Laughs_

The doctor said to treat my daughter’s scratch with alcohol, so I kissed it.

@Lisa_Laughs_

Just waiting to hear those three special words… “there’s no evidence.”

@Lisa_Laughs_

Hey, I may not look like much right now, but believe me, in the morning I’ll look even worse.

@Lisa_Laughs_

fortune cookie- You will not die alone but with many many cat…
cat: LOL THAT’S SO YOU!

@Lisa_Laughs_

I know two wrongs don’t make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I’m like on 756.

@Lisa_Laughs_

Do you like them? I made them from scratch. Do you want one? – me introducing my kids to strangers.

@Lisa_Laughs_

I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet so now my cats wear tap shoes.