@Lisabug74

My resume says, “Gimme a job,” and I’ve had four recruiters reach out because I was so direct.

@Lisabug74

If I yell, “Heads up!” I’m clear of all liability at children’s parties.

@Lisabug74

I pretend to the cashier lady to have two adorable children whenever I’m buying mom jeans.

@Lisabug74

My husband asked me to cut his hair. I think the zigzag designs turned out very well despite his bad attitude.

@Lisabug74

Quarantine Stories: We’ve got every TV channel available to us, but my husband and I would rather watch a fly meeting its demise, as our kitchen spider who we named, “Brad Pitt,” settles down for a meal.

@Lisabug74

“It’s because I raised eleven kids in a previous life,” is what I tell people when asked why I don’t have any children.

@Lisabug74

I confused the spatula with a flyswatter is why that is floating in your soup.

@Lisabug74

Marriage is like a Rubik’s cube. One person is trying to solve the puzzle and the other one is switching the stickers around to win the game.