Bad cop: Let me scare her a bit.
Good cop: Not yet, I think she's going to break.
Britney: My loneliness is killing me.
Good cop: But did you kill him?
Britney: And I, I must confess.
Good cop: Here we go
Britney: I still believe
Bad cop: Jesus Christ
@LittleMissAngr1: I accidentally prayed on people's weaknesses instead of preying on them, and now they just think I'm kind.
@LittleMissAngr1: Him: *recites romantic speech he wrote about his undying love for me*
Priest: And the bride?
Me: *realising my vows weren't supposed to be a list of the shit I won't put up with* um, pass.
@LittleMissAngr1: Me: Why are your eyes closed? I'm trying to talk to you.
9: Because in my mind, a cake is saying it. A red velvet cake.
@LittleMissAngr1: When I'm bored I venmo cash to strangers with messages like "you looked so peaceful while you were sleeping".
@LittleMissAngr1: Me: I'm in a really good mood, what a great time for somebody to ask me for a favour.
Them: Oh, I was hoping you could help me-
Me: *smiling* Absolutely not
Them: But you said it was a good time to ask.
Me: *still smiling* Yeah, look at how unbothered I am.
@LittleMissAngr1: Friend: How come you keep wearing white pants?
Me: Trying to summon my period.