@LittleMissAngr1

Excited to announce that I am running for city council! Oops, typo. I am running from city council!

@LittleMissAngr1

Them: I’m so sorry!

Me: *checking that their concrete boots have set* It’s all water under the bridge.

@LittleMissAngr1

[Interrogation]

Bad cop: Let me scare her a bit.

Good cop: Not yet, I think she’s going to break.

Britney: My loneliness is killing me.

Good cop: But did you kill him?

Britney: And I, I must confess.

Good cop: Here we go

Britney: I still believe

Bad cop: Jesus Christ

@LittleMissAngr1

I accidentally prayed on people’s weaknesses instead of preying on them, and now they just think I’m kind.

@LittleMissAngr1

Him: *recites romantic speech he wrote about his undying love for me*

Priest: And the bride?

Me: *realising my vows weren’t supposed to be a list of the shit I won’t put up with* um, pass.

@LittleMissAngr1

Me: Why are your eyes closed? I’m trying to talk to you.

9: Because in my mind, a cake is saying it. A red velvet cake.

@LittleMissAngr1

When I’m bored I venmo cash to strangers with messages like “you looked so peaceful while you were sleeping”.