@LivibelsDada

If my dad were alive today he would say, “Mark stop telling people I’m dead”

@LivibelsDada

Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two mars bars fall out of a vending machine at once.

@LivibelsDada

You know you’re too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener.