@LlamaInaTux: Bob ross: we don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents
me: please Bob. I'm sorry
Bob: *attaching silencer to his handgun* but you screwed up
@LlamaInaTux: me: I broke my leg, can anyone help
guy: I know what to do
me: oh thank goodness
guy: *loading shotgun* I learned from looking after horses
me: k wait
@LlamaInaTux: the tv: 120 seconds until the nuke lands and ends us all
kids: oh no
wife: oh no
parents: oh no
me: *reading bagel bites package says to cook for 3 minutes* oh no NO NO
@LlamaInaTux: me at age 5: if I get a million dollars ill buy a yacht and 14 trampolines
me at age 25: if I get a million dollars ill go to the dentist and pay for express shipping on stuff
@LlamaInaTux: [my funeral]
priest: we are all going to miss, uh... *snaps finger* you know.. *glances at my wife*
wife: *turns to my mom*
mom: Greg? I feel like it was something close to Greg.
@LlamaInaTux: me: I ran 5 miles yesterday and my calves are killing me
her: you’re just being dramatic
me: *being stabbed by baby cows* yeah probably
@LlamaInaTux: [police lineup]
Cop: step forward and say 'boing boing'
Suspect 1: boing boing
Suspect 2: boing boing
Desk lamp: boing boing
Wife of Pixar's letter i: that's the one. He killed my husband
@LlamaInaTux: Titanic passenger: iceberg
Titanic chef: no its romaine
Passenger: *pointing* iceberg!
Chef: oh no!
Chef: we've served you the wrong salad