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Page of Los01001111's best tweets

@Los01001111 : I put another shrimp on the barbie and now Ken is all pissed off.

@Los01001111: *goes to Australia
*sees hot girl
*asks if she wants to be my first mate
*winks forever
*gets punched down under

@Los01001111: My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.

@Los01001111: I'm pretty sure God and Satan are both women, because who else would hold a grudge for that long?

@Los01001111: *Smashes the Sony

*Destroys the Panasonic

*Pummels the Kenwood

*Rips apart the Pioneer

~breaking all stereotypes

@Los01001111: Does Chewbacca use body wash or just shampoo and conditioner?

@Los01001111: Marriage.
Because dodging your own family wasn't enough.

@Los01001111: The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".