@Los01001111

I put another shrimp on the barbie and now Ken is all pissed off.

@Los01001111

*goes to Australia
*sees hot girl
*asks if she wants to be my first mate
*winks forever
*gets punched down under

@Los01001111

My Wife does this cute thing where she says that “actions speak louder than words” and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.

@Los01001111

I’m pretty sure God and Satan are both women, because who else would hold a grudge for that long?

@Los01001111

*Smashes the Sony

*Destroys the Panasonic

*Pummels the Kenwood

*Rips apart the Pioneer

~breaking all stereotypes

@Los01001111

Does Chewbacca use body wash or just shampoo and conditioner?

@Los01001111

The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself “him”.