@LosLos__: Me: I love you, too...umm...
[Wife says her name]
Me: See? After all these years we're still finishing each other's sentences.
@LosLos__: I once loaded the dishwasher so perfect that
THIS IS HIS WIFE. HE'S LYING TO YOU!
@LosLos__: Wife: Is that a pencil in your pocket, or are you just...
Me: It's a piece of toast.
@LosLos__: Me: Gonna go see Gym.
Friend: You mean go to the gym?
Me: No, Gym is Geoff's brother.
@LosLos__: Doc: Your insurance won't cover it all.
Me: What if I sewed myself shut?
Doc: Suture self.
@LosLos__: Stop. Stop it right now.
I'm going to count to five.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
~A parenting haiku.