Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of MafiaJoker78's best tweets

@MafiaJoker78 : *Opens fortune cookie*

~You just ate cat, you thought was beef.

@MafiaJoker78: I just want to take you out...

With an AK-47...

& you thought on a date...hahaha.

@MafiaJoker78: Him- You're a useless piece of shit..

Me- Show me a useful piece of shit.

@MafiaJoker78: *Leaves home for the day...

*Fears I left something behind

*Runs inside to see baby playing with my phone.

*Grabs phone & leaves.

@MafiaJoker78: ????My lactose-free, gluten-free, wheat-free, carb-free, nut-free, fat-free milkshake, brings all the weirdos to the yard...????

@MafiaJoker78: What do we want?

An endless supply of milk

When do we want it?

Cow

@MafiaJoker78: A watch dog is like a regular dog,only it can show you the time.

@MafiaJoker78: New neighbours just moved in...

I baked them some goodies as a welcome & a warning to never eat at my house.

@MafiaJoker78: Hey mate! Your girl looks like a horse...

Are you in a stable relationship?