Which sounds more foreboding, Impending Doom or Imminent Demise, I want this wedding toast to be memorable.
Ever send the wrong emoji and end up with a wife and 2 kids.
I’m not flirting with disaster, we’re eloping.
You want a puppy? … correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you kill an artificial plant last year.
Annnnd that’s how the fight started.
Did you know, that just by pretending to pee in the shower, you could meet Home Depot’s Chief of Security.
Nothing says “till death do us part” quite like a prenup.
I thought pansexual was a type of pizza crust.
From the looks of this gas station bathroom, I missed an alien autopsy by 10 minutes.
It’s all fun and games till a Murder Hornet gets caught under your mask.
Attention Walmart Shoppers.
Worst case scenario on aisle 5.