Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of MarieColette's best tweets

@MarieColette : If anyone's looking to join a pyramid scheme, hit me up and I'll connect you with all the girls I went to high school with via facebook.

@MarieColette: I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.

@MarieColette: I don't watch wedding shows and get excited about getting married but I do watch Dateline and get excited about being murdered.

@MarieColette: Get a hair cut, run away without paying. They can't chase you because they're holding scissors. The perfect crime.