Hotel beds are often all the proof I need that Satan owns a mattress factory.
After many years I’ve realized I’m allergic to beer. It causes me to break out in places.
Places I have no idea how to get home from.
You say you’re an atheist, yet you tell people they can “go to hell!”
Make up your mind already.
Want to get your kids attention and make sure they hear what you say?
Start whispering something to your spouse.
I’m far less concerned with who let it out, and more curious as to why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
I’ll always be here for you….
Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there.
Then I’ll be over there for you.