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Page of MattMcC1's best tweets

@MattMcC1 : 2032. Predictive Text has been perfected. You idly check in on your lunch break to see what you & your best friend have been chatting about.

@MattMcC1: *extremely loudly* WELCOME TO MY TED TALK ON USING SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING FOR ADVERTISING.

*whispers* cheerios

@MattMcC1: the worst part of being a chuck e cheese janitor is having to kiss each ball in the ballpit goodnight before i turn the lights out.

@MattMcC1: "Hey, people who cover their mouth when they laugh; noone is trying to steal your teeth", i hiss through my very normal amount of teeth.

@MattMcC1: YOU CAN'T BUY HOT POCKETS YOU CAN ONLY BUY COLD POCKETS YOU ARE EXPECTED SUPPLY THE HEAT YOURSELF DONT BELIEVE THE LIES.

@MattMcC1: "We run a tight ship" barked the captain, his shoulders barely getting thru the doorway "Real tight."
he turns sideways to fit down the hall

@MattMcC1: in canada if you pat your pockets to show a hobo that you have no change and he hears your keys jingle, you have to give him your house.

@MattMcC1: "nice dog or cat or baby or whatever" i offer politely, my eyes scanning the room for the taco dip. "was it expensive?"