Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us
@Matt_The_1st : So much to do right now
*cracks open beer*
So much to do tomorrow
@Matt_The_1st: Ok kids, you get in bed, I'll get the story book.
All tucked in? Here we go...
*opens The Shining
@Matt_The_1st: Yes. You rt'd me 14 times in a row. Thanks.
You are first in line for my liver when the time comes.
@Matt_The_1st: Me: "Hey doc, what's that condition where you wake up and everything hurts?"
@Matt_The_1st: "You should only have to tell them once"
- People with no children
@Matt_The_1st: Sorry I didn't reply to your text, I just couldn't find a response that would keep you from sending another
@Matt_The_1st: I AM NOT REALLY YELLING AT YOU I JUST GOT USED TO TALKING TO MY TEENAGER WHO ALWAYS HAS HEADPHONES IN
@Matt_The_1st: "Honey, the baby sure is fussy. Why don't we go see a movie after we goto a nice, quiet restaurant?"
@Matt_The_1st: "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?“
Lucifer: Are you hitting on me?
@Matt_The_1st: Ex is bringing my kids back home. Time to strategically place the panties I bought from Victoria's secret around the house
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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