@MavenofHonor

The vaccine is amazing, but it will not make you magnetic. The only way to get magnetized is to stand at the top of a lighthouse wearing a mysterious amulet during an eclipse

@MavenofHonor

An app told me I had a notification and the notification was that there were no new notifications, so we’re all dealing with a lot rn

@MavenofHonor

As someone who got the J&J shot last week, so far my only side effect has been the ability to control geese with my mind

@MavenofHonor

So many accidents occur in the home. I once turned a dimmer switch too fast and got beamed into another dimension

@MavenofHonor

It’s like I said when I fell into that tub of snapping turtles: now is not the time for pointing fingers

@MavenofHonor

Keep an eye on the horizon. (I‘m sending a homing pigeon with a fruit roll-up)

@MavenofHonor

Learned a lot during my barefoot walk through the forest. Mainly that acorns are the earth’s legos

@MavenofHonor

Multitasking is key these days. If not during my husband’s work video call, when am I supposed to sport my wedding gown and roll by on a skateboard

@MavenofHonor

All the pictures of me at age 20 are blurry because that’s when I was a human cannonball in the circus

@MavenofHonor

I have a lot of opinions for someone who is never completely sure of today’s date