@Maxine12333

To my friends: You smile, I smile, you hurt, I hurt, you cry, I cry, you jump off a bridge. I’m gonna miss your e-mails.

@Maxine12333

If you need anything done now do it yourself, if you want it done right call a pro and if you don’t care if it ever gets done, ask your kid.

@Maxine12333

Taught my kids to always let a strange dog smell their hand before petting them to see if it was friendly.  Should have taught them to do the same with people.

@Maxine12333

When a really horrible person dies I always like to think of it as them being recalled.

@Maxine12333

I’m becoming psychic. Looking at a dusty exercise machine and I see a yard sale in its near future.

@Maxine12333

Reached a point in my life that I have no ‘bones to pick’ nor ‘axes to grind’. Most would call it forgiveness, I call it memory loss and it’s peaceful.

@Maxine12333

Red meat isn’t bad for you. Fuzzy, green meat is what you want to avoid.

@Maxine12333

‘Leave no stone unturned’ is good advice if you’re looking for something that crawls out from under rocks.

@Maxine12333

You can lose a lot on a no carb, no sugar diet.  I tried it and immediately lost my will to live.

@Maxine12333

Kids are easy to care for until they learn to roll over. After that you’re never
sure what they’re up to for the rest of their lives.