@McClaneJohn2

I like holding doors open for people who aren’t close and watch them do that stupid power walk.

@McClaneJohn2

Why do people put ice cream in a bowl when it already comes in one?

@McClaneJohn2

I just managed to eat a bag of chips without waking the dog like some kinda ninja.

@McClaneJohn2

Subway is great if you want to eat 12 meatballs in bread and pretend it’s healthy.

@McClaneJohn2

If you see me online 30mins after I said I was going to bed, mind ya business.

@McClaneJohn2

Calm down car stereo volume I’m not the same person I was yesterday.

@McClaneJohn2

Me: A cool person followed me I better step up my tweets.

5 mins later: Can you die from eating the sticker off an apple?