@McClaneJohn2

According to the amount of pasta I just made I’m a family of 8.

@McClaneJohn2

There is exactly a 7 second window between an omelette and scrambled eggs.

@McClaneJohn2

This whiskey tastes like I’m about to find myself a lot funnier.

@McClaneJohn2

People who yawn with no volume control scare the shit out of me.

@McClaneJohn2

Popcorn is great if you want to eat 100 of something and still be hungry.

@McClaneJohn2

According to the amount of bacon I just put in the air fryer, I’m a family of 8.

@McClaneJohn2

Whiskey is not the answer.

Whiskey is the question, yes is the answer.

@McClaneJohn2

I stubbed my toe on the foot of the bed and found out I know 5 different languages.