@McGrumpenstein: Just when the world was convinced Canadians were normal, we published a recipe for ketchup cake on our ketchup bottles.
@McGrumpenstein: ME: Just don’t touch my Pop Tarts and we’ll be okay
PRIEST: *stunned* I'd like to remind everyone that the couple chose to write their own vows
@McGrumpenstein: DRY CLEANER: ...are these
ME: yes, Taco Bell hot sauce stains
DRY CLEANER: but it’s an...
ME: yes, I realize it’s an ascot
@McGrumpenstein: I had a near-death experience. I panicked and asked god what flavour cream soda was. God didn’t know either.
@McGrumpenstein: You can literally say any Italian sounding words and pass it off as pasta.
I had bossatony micelli carbonara tonight.