Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of McNevich's best tweets

@McNevich : The only way I'm listening to a voicemail is if I think the pizza guy is lost

@McNevich: Sometimes I'll flush a few slices of pizza down the toilet just to let the Ninja Turtles know I miss them

@McNevich: Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman

@McNevich: If there's a pistachio that's difficult to open, I'll just move right on to another because life is short and so is my god damn temper

@McNevich: Had pumpkin flavored coffee this morning and immediately signed up for a Zumba class and kidnapped 2 kids and drove them to a soccer field

@McNevich: Accidentally ate a ball of wasabi the size of a marble and now I can smell math

@McNevich: Nice try, people that invite me to things that aren't in my house

@McNevich: Hey can I call you back in like 6 weeks?

@McNevich: I send thank you cards to people that don't invite me to their weddings

@McNevich: Facebook game requests are the Jehovah's Witnesses of the Internet