I wish this was real life…
WTF IS THAT!
You can tell by a woman’s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
Having a tan is attractive. Having skin sponsored by Doritos isn’t.
I would like to thank Tetris for providing me w/ the skills to jam as many dishes as possible in my dishwasher.
Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours.
Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.
Your swag is gonna look amazing on that Burger King application.
“It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.” -Losers