Home Alone (1990)
A know-it-all, suburban elitist cruelly humiliates two economically anxious men, seeking to improve their lives
There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl
Very important new poster I stuck up in town today. This is my first step towards becoming a great businessman
Bear tip: If a bear is mauling you to death, challenge it to a maths quiz instead
(mauling people to death is against the rules in quizzes)
OMG, just found my childhood diary! I was an adorable and strangely prescient little boy.
New poster I stuck up at my local train station. I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone.
My one weakness? Probably my unshakable belief that, despite a total lack of training, I’ll be able to do karate if I’m ever in a fight.
If you fear that a giraffe has killed your wife and stolen her identity, these are the signs to look out for:
Important new ad I stuck up in town today. Experts only, please.
New notice I stuck up in town this morning. Are you this person?
Every funeral is open-casket if you’ve got a crowbar and a sense of adventure.