@MichaelGoffLA

How long does a guest have to overstay before you can claim them on your taxes?

@MichaelGoffLA

Pot has never been proven harmful to humans, but the way it makes those huge holes in the street has to give you pause.

@MichaelGoffLA

Apparently organ donation has to be *your own* organ and this police officer has a lot of questions.

@MichaelGoffLA

“Engagement” can mean either planning to marry or initiating combat. Coincidence?

@MichaelGoffLA

What if you told a lie to cover up your affair, and the lie was so good that 2000 years later people were still giving each other presents?

@MichaelGoffLA

Feed me pieces of baguette by the park bench like one of your French squirrels.