@MichaelaOkla

And now a moment of silence for all the things I could’ve accomplished in 2019 if I had a brain that worked

@MichaelaOkla

Ladies, have you ever slept with a man because he has a big fish that he caught in his profile picture?

@MichaelaOkla

Imagine getting married and you write your own vows and it’s beautiful and everyone is sobbing and after the wedding your husband hands you the vows he wrote down in a sweet glass case to keep forever and you read them and the first line reads “your my soulmate”

@MichaelaOkla

Sure you can call me lazy but do you know how many days I HAVE gotten out of bed? Thousands

@MichaelaOkla

I realize I’m struggling with this phase of my life but in my defense I wasn’t planning on living this long