Flirtation tip: glue a dead wasp to your hand before the date, then snatch at the air beside her head and show her the wasp. Say “close one”
The main problem with gay marriage is when two men hold the knife to cut the cake they will be too strong and cut through the plate & table.
“The book was way better” – hobo trying to burn a DVD for warmth
Unfaithful Russian men come home to find all their stuff in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box on the sidewalk.
For every hour that passes without payment, I will teach another hostage “Wonderwall” on acoustic guitar and release him back to you