Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of MikeDrucker's best tweets

@MikeDrucker : Twitter is fun because you get to be like, “Ducks are good” and someone in your mentions will go, “Um, I’m sorry but my brother is married to a duck scientist and this is a harmful view” and then someone else pops up going, “Your silence about horses is extremely telling”

@MikeDrucker: We’re just never going to talk about the fact Mufasa and Scar are brothers but have entirely different accents?

@MikeDrucker: GAME TRAILER: “Enter a world beyond belief...”

ME: “Yes”

GAME TRAILER: “An adventure like never before...”


GAME TRAILER: “Join your friends online”

ME: “I’m out”

@MikeDrucker: I’m so tired of being jealous of my friends’ successes. It’s unhealthy and only hurts me. From now on, I’m going to focus on what’s really important: enjoying my friends’ failures.

@MikeDrucker: 2017: It can’t get worse than this

DAY ONE, 2018: A YouTube star filmed a dead body for entertainment

@MikeDrucker: My mom still hasn’t used the roomba I bought her two years ago for Christmas because, quote, “I don’t want it to judge our house.”

@MikeDrucker: TWITTER USERS: It would be nice if you stopped people making death threats.

TWITTER: OK, but what if those death threats could be LONGER?

@MikeDrucker: I don't understand why everyone is so passionate about sports; it's all just bullsh - HEY! YOU! NO! DARTH VADER DOES NOT HAVE A GREEN SABER!

@MikeDrucker: Stop saying "11/11/11" only happens once in a lifetime. EVERY date only happens once in a lifetime. That's how time works.