Black guy just told me “Stay up playa” but didnt say until what time and I usually go to bed around 11 so not sure what to do now.
There is a huge spider in my kitchen so I will be tweeting from on top of this table for whatever the life span of this species is.
I like having fun with strangers in elevators by slowly moving my finger towards the emergency stop button while maintaining eye contact.
Make sure that nobody ever invades your personal space by constantly hula hooping wherever you go.
*puts baby marshmallows on a porcupine*
There you go little guy. Now you’re bouncy.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with yelling “I HAVE THE POWEEER!” like He-Man after cooking an omelette that doesnt stick to the pan.
Blood moon, shooting stars….I gotta move to a safer galaxy
Just saw a shooting star. The crime in this galaxy is getting out of hand.
Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
So carrying a “wet floor” sign and putting it down immediately after using your best pickup line on a woman is frowned upon
Dating is hard.