Funny Tweeter

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Page of Mindless4Miles's best tweets

@Mindless4Miles : I just sung Mariah Carey's "Hero" to myself because it seems no one else in this house can put a new roll of toilet paper on the thing.

@Mindless4Miles: If you’re thinking about getting married just know you can ruin the next eighteen years of your life for a lot less money by buying a cockatiel instead.

@Mindless4Miles: I said I was thinking about you. I left out the part with the wood chipper.

@Mindless4Miles: Please stop inventing new slang words so quickly. I’m having trouble not becoming my grandmother.

@Mindless4Miles: Sure my whining and moaning is annoying now but when I'm a ghost it'll be cool as hell.

@Mindless4Miles: I remember when people had the common decency to not look at you while you're staring at them.

@Mindless4Miles: Don’t mess with me. I come from a generation that would walk to a mail box to mail a letter if we were angry enough with you.

@Mindless4Miles: I just show up at seances for the awkward, forced companionship holding hands around a table brings.

@Mindless4Miles: She said she liked a man with a mouth on him and I admitted that I too like someone with all their face parts.