@MissNaughty1801
CW:where are you going?
Me:trying to prevent an awkward conversation between two people
CW:who?
Me:me and you
@MissNaughty1801
I’m surprised my son doesn’t think his name is ‘stopit’
@MissNaughty1801
8y:thank you for the present
grandma….: no need..
8y: that’s what I thought too but mum said I have to
@MissNaughty1801
I imagine some people are like…: ‘should I take the shower?…no…I’m taking the train today…’
@MissNaughty1801
CW:my husband doesn’t understand me at all. What about yours?
Me:I wouldn’t know… I don’t talk to him about you…
@MissNaughty1801
Him: you are correcting my every word for the last six years of our marriage
Me: for the last 7 years
@MissNaughty1801
7y:why are you putting make up on?
Me:to look nicer
7y:when does it start working?
@MissNaughty1801
*approaches man sitting at the bar
Me: would you like to dance
Him: yeah!
Me: that’s great because I need to sit down
@MissNaughty1801
Boss:I need you to do something for me…
Me:what?
Boss:go on the jobcentre website and look for another job
@MissNaughty1801
Me:what did daddy say when he broke his phone?
7y:can I repeat swear words?
Me: no
7y: he said nothing then