@MizzusT

Nobody in their forties looks forty, you either look young or like 83

@MizzusT

First year married: I want to spend every moment with you

All other years: maybe you could move into your own house

@MizzusT

Yeah, but can your 25 year old girlfriend do this? *falls asleep standing up*

@MizzusT

Me: I’m gonna take a shower

Spider in my bathtub: nope

@MizzusT

No one has stolen my identity yet and I’m starting to take it personally