[tv announcer] Are you bloated? Tired? Unable to enjoy the activities you once loved?
[me with mouthful of chips] YEAH
I just love that you are a normal, cool girl.
*subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair*
[puts a tub of Blue Bell in the cart]
Ma’am, did you hear there was a recall? That could be deadly.
[slowly puts second tub in cart]
Every once in a while someone comes along, and if you are really still they’ll eventually go away.
“I’m glad you’re so normal. It’s refreshing.”
“That’s me- totally normal!” *waves off mariachi band waiting in the wings*
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
Never tell someone that it would work out if “only they lived closer”. Crazy can change zip codes faster than you can change your identity.