Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Molly_Kats's best tweets

@Molly_Kats : There's panic and then there's can't-find-your-tampon-string-panic.

@Molly_Kats: You're 35 weeks pregnant and gonna make me do math?

@Molly_Kats: Found my missing cardigan when my sister posted a FB pic of her wearing it.

@Molly_Kats: Do I feel like crying? HELL YES LET'S DO THIS 'THE FAULT IN OUR STARS'

@Molly_Kats: I'm in line behind a lady with 100 coupons so come visit me in jail, OK?

@Molly_Kats: I'm really good at acting like I'm sorry the elevator door is closing and you missed it.

@Molly_Kats: A drop of roof water hit my face and I reacted like it was liquid herpes.

@Molly_Kats: WHO ARE YOU RUNNING FROM IN YOUR OWN APARTMENT YOU FAT MONSTER NEIGHBOR I shout to my ceiling.

@Molly_Kats: If you call & I don't answer, I'm not dead, I'm napping.

- Things I have to say to my mom

@Molly_Kats: Batman Begins Scrapbooking #AddaWordRuinaMovie