
The smoke detectors just went off in my house and no one even looked up from their phones.
The smoke detectors just went off in my house and no one even looked up from their phones.
Things that are not cool:
– smoking
– having cable
– ant farms
– beyblades
– anyone still reading this
*sends self an email reminder*
Computer: ping
Me: “ooooh an email”
I haven’t been to Target since February. I wonder how it’s even staying in business without me.
Googles *getting back in shape*
Google: back?
Coworker: sorry to bother you
Me: you should be
My husband hates his new job as my IT guy.
To the girl who said I should get off twitter and pay attention to my children, I want you to know I’m ignoring my husband, too.
Husband: you might want to start adding an occasional LOL
or I’m kidding
or smiley emoji
or I love you into your texts…so if anything ever happens to me it throws off the investigation.
Husband: you’re in great condition.
Me: are you complimenting me or writing a craigslist ad?