@Mormonger

When choosing baby names, we made the mistake of asking family for advice. I really liked the name “Damien” for a boy, but my mom thought it sounded too much like “Demon.” Lucky for Mom, we’re having a girl. Her name is Lucy… Short for Lucifer.

@Mormonger

My family has really been struggling financially lately.
Could someone please help us with our monthly budget?

Rent: $1,200
Car Payment: $381
School Loans: $393
Swear Jar: $5,347

@Mormonger

Nobody talks about Jesus’ miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s

@Mormonger

Veganism is responsible for The Fall.

Adam & Eve ate the fruit when they should have BBQ’d the snake.

@Mormonger

Elon Musk: Inhabiting Mars is the only hope we have of saving the human race

Jesus: LOL

@Mormonger

Father of Prodigal Son: For this my son was dead, and is alive again! He was lost, and is found!

Fatted Calf: This cannot be good