@MrJeberling

I got a shopping cart today with 4 working wheels, it was full of lingerie models and self confidence and I was dreaming

@MrJeberling

Once while eating bacon I said I was “getting piggy with it” and now I have no friends.

@MrJeberling

“Screw you, my face doesn’t look like that at all” – an actual duck.

@MrJeberling

-Sir we found hot glue in her ears nose and mouth, seems she suffocated.
-Well whoever did this must be pretty….crafty.
-Go to hell sir.

@MrJeberling

What about “BusinessMyspace”? Nah, it’s taken. Okay, what about “LinkedIn”?

@MrJeberling

Batman cuts off a seemingly innocuous driver in the Batmobile, only to deal with the driver later, with the help of Superman #ChangingBanes