Apparently you’re not supposed to tell “That’s what she said jokes” during the Board meeting because it’s “inappropriate”
*offers Batman cough drops*
Truthful Tuesday: If a rapper raps about how much money he has then I download his music for free.
I dont’t want to die a virgin because that means I’ll have to have sex with terrorists.
I love how girls say that they like a guy with a sense of humour and yet you’ll never find a poster of Mr Bean on their wall.
Me: Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
Apparently saying, “You mad, bro?” is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
This alphabet soup that I spilled on the floor is still more coherent than most Pitbull lyrics.
My ex is going to make some guy very happy one day but completely miserable the rest of the time.