@MrSandeepP

Apparently you’re not supposed to tell “That’s what she said jokes” during the Board meeting because it’s “inappropriate”

@MrSandeepP

Truthful Tuesday: If a rapper raps about how much money he has then I download his music for free.

@MrSandeepP

I dont’t want to die a virgin because that means I’ll have to have sex with terrorists.

@MrSandeepP

I love how girls say that they like a guy with a sense of humour and yet you’ll never find a poster of Mr Bean on their wall.

@MrSandeepP

Me: Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

Her: no

Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

@MrSandeepP

Apparently saying, “You mad, bro?” is frowned upon if you work in customer service.

@MrSandeepP

This alphabet soup that I spilled on the floor is still more coherent than most Pitbull lyrics.

@MrSandeepP

My ex is going to make some guy very happy one day but completely miserable the rest of the time.