@MumInBits

My 3yo said ‘mummy’ 6,358 times today and I can’t find the page in the parenting book that tells you what to do when they malfunction

@MumInBits

8 asked if I had to choose between not having him or not having chocolate for a whole week what would I do and I said I couldn’t believe he’d even ask me that and then I packed a bag for him and said I’d see him in a week

@MumInBits

As homeschooling draws to a close for the summer I realise my 8yo may not have learned how to do fractions but he also learned very little about anything else

@MumInBits

My 3yo asked what my favourite animal is and when I said penguin she yelled ‘NO IT ISNT’ and then she yelled at me until I agreed that my favourite animal was a bat and I don’t like bats. Or 3 year olds.

@MumInBits

Me: *does activity with the kids*
Kids: mummy this is so boring can we watch tv

Husband: *does same activity with the kids the next day*
Kids: THIS IS THE MOST FUN WE’VE EVER HAD IN OUR WHOLE LIVES

@MumInBits

Tried to convince the kids helping me to make vegetable soup would be as fun as going to the playground. It did not work.

@MumInBits

Husband: I’m taking new herbal supplements which mean I can’t eat chocolate

Me: I’m sorry I don’t understand

H: I can’t eat chocolate

Me: nope you’re making no sense *checks him for fever*

@MumInBits

Me: do you want bread or toast
3: toast!
Me: are you sure
3: yes!
Me: *gives toast*
3: I wanted bread! *cries*
Me: oh for the love of-
3: *sweetly* can I have bread next time
Me: of course sweetie
3: *eyes turn red* I DONT WANT BREAD NEXT TIME I WANT TOAST

@MumInBits

Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since we’ve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing

@MumInBits

Homeschooling day 3

Lessons finished hours ago and the kids are still here, do I just put them outside and hope someone collects them or…