Plan B and pregnancy tests should be sold at the Liquor Store as a ‘one stop shop’ kinda thing. Save all that judgment for one cashier.
I’m convinced some of you are here because someone didn’t properly lock your cage.
If it weren’t for smoke detectors, I’d never know when my food was ready.
Hey, Dude who flips me off for honking at him in the parking lot, your groceries are on top of your car.
When I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, “Shark! Help!” And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Watch your wedding video backwards. You’ll love the part when you take your ring off, walk away from the altar, & leave with your friends.