Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of NJPsychDoc's best tweets

@NJPsychDoc : I dig my own Grave.

Adds Inter-ior designer to Resume.

@NJPsychDoc: Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?

@NJPsychDoc: My stages of drunk:

1. You're UGLY
2. You're HOT

4. Your HONOR in my defense......

@NJPsychDoc: My therapist says that to be happy in marriage, never go to sleep mad at each other. Been mad at my wife 2 months straight cause of insomnia

@NJPsychDoc: Marriage has taught me that communication is key. I talk to my therapist & she talks to hers. Its not perfect, but its progress.

@NJPsychDoc: If the opposite of impossible is Possible & the opposite of immature is Mature, you can conclude that i'm a very Portant person to some.

@NJPsychDoc: I wish my name was Grudge. This way my wife would hold on to me forever.

@NJPsychDoc: My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his better half. I returned the courtesy by introducing my wife to him as the lesser of two evils.