@NYC_Blonde

“I hate you but I love you. I miss you but you make me sick. You’re wonderful but get away from me” -My love letter to carbs

@NYC_Blonde

If someone specifies that you’re book-smart and not street-smart or street-smart but not book-smart, they’re calling you stupid.

@NYC_Blonde

I hate when my boyfriend’s snoring wakes me up and then I realize it was my snoring and I don’t have a boyfriend and I’m going to die alone.

@NYC_Blonde

“You know your addiction is bad when you lie and say you’re at the gym when really you’re out shopping” is the title of my autobiography.

@NYC_Blonde

“We’re up all night to get Loki” -Daft Punk feat. The Avengers

@NYC_Blonde

Tomorrow is the 4th of July which means one thing, it’s going to be a really big day for nail art Instagram photos.

@NYC_Blonde

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one of your friends your ex is going to sleep with next

@NYC_Blonde

Boys are cute how they’re all “I like girls that don’t wear heavy makeup” and “get down from that tree near my window or I’ll call the cops”

@NYC_Blonde

Are babies like tamagotchis? Like, will my friend take care of it if I forget it at her house?

@NYC_Blonde

Me: Is there alcohol in this?
Barista: … No ma’am.
Me: Can there be?