*goes to fabric store*
Do you guys have boyfriend material?
I didn’t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies.
Well well well… looks like someone put on some weight again.
~ my pants right now
Him: I’d go to the end of the world for you!
Me: Well… what are you waiting for then?
Should I ever become president everyone who uses the word “bae” will be sterilized.
I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.
I’m quitting modelling, I need more job security so I’m going to become a princess.
Bailiff: State your name for the court
Hr: Clara Sofía Alba Constanza Guadalupe…
Judge: That’s enough I want to get out of here b4 lunch!
Colleague: Quick, the boss is on her way!
Me: That’s weird I swear that I didn’t hear her broomstick!
My dad is Jamaican and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.