@Neauxpe

The last time I wore a red shirt, I went to Target and laid off 8 people in the morning team huddle.

@Neauxpe

If you post a selfie that says “because some of you asked for a new one” I want to see screenshots of where they said that.

@Neauxpe

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because you were the only car in the lot and I parked so close you couldn’t open your door.

@Neauxpe

Anytime a religious organization follows me I just assume I’m being used as a case study/example and they are praying super hard.

@Neauxpe

A bunch of black dudes were standing in front of my gardening equipment.

Bros before hoes.