SPONSORED POST: Tide Pods. Remember when we seemed like a big problem?
Listen to your inner child. It’s the one that whisper-sings nursery rhymes when you feel alone in a dark hallway.
I know I sound like a broken record but tomorrow I’ll sound like a misfiring engine and, next week, continuous loud television static.
90% of your body is water. 6% is delusion. 4% is lies.
Talk to the hand. The hand is lonely and needs some company. What are you up to? How’s work? You look great. You want some tea?
Secret agents asking citizens to please speak more clearly in all phone calls. Also, cut the chitchat and get to the good stuff, they ask.