Scientists please just tell us when the world is gonna end so I can stop working out
Can makeup companies just admit that they’ve run out of words to market mascara? Lashblast full effect endless wonder lengthening spider scandal volumizing ultra curved stiletto black fantasy mega-colossal stiletto stapler gondola tractor zoo crime salad steamboat tick chart
I held a baby today. I was scared it would make me want a baby, but it just made me want to be a baby.
What if ISIS started claiming responsibility for nice things like when my mom says, “who emptied the dishwasher?!”
Want to annoy the man in your life? Pronounce MMA “mama”.
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.