Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. That's it, don't make us say cringy things like YouTubers say at the end of their videos. Click here to follow us

Page of NotJPo's best tweets

@NotJPo : Wrong Hole!

- a love story

@NotJPo: Listen up, single people. You can only sleep with so many people. Sooooo many people. So so so many.

@NotJPo: Pantibros before pantihose?

@NotJPo: "Baby, I'm gonna make you mine."

- sweet talker forcing someone to be a coal miner

@NotJPo: In my house there are 5 females, 9423 pony tail holders, 49 bottles of nail polish, 8 justin bieber posters & 1 very patient, worn down man.

@NotJPo: Sodomy? SodoYOU. JK, please sodomy.

@NotJPo: "Don't kid yourself." - birth control

@NotJPo: Your wife will always agree to let you go out and get drunk with your friends and as long as you're smart and don't go.

@NotJPo: I may be delusional, but at least every single person I've ever met is in love with me

@NotJPo: "No more Mr Nice Guy"

~ Mr Nice Guy's eulogy