– a love story
Listen up, single people. You can only sleep with so many people. Sooooo many people. So so so many.
Pantibros before pantihose?
“Baby, I’m gonna make you mine.”
– sweet talker forcing someone to be a coal miner
In my house there are 5 females, 9423 pony tail holders, 49 bottles of nail polish, 8 justin bieber posters & 1 very patient, worn down man.
Sodomy? SodoYOU. JK, please sodomy.
“Don’t kid yourself.” – birth control
Your wife will always agree to let you go out and get drunk with your friends and as long as you’re smart and don’t go.
I may be delusional, but at least every single person I’ve ever met is in love with me
“No more Mr Nice Guy”
~ Mr Nice Guy’s eulogy