Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@NotTodayEric : them: talk is cheap
me: two talks please
@NotTodayEric: If your trust issues began with a sugar cookies tin full of sewing supplies you’re my people.
@NotTodayEric: Alien: this planet sucks I don’t know how you do it
Me: *slowly opens pizza box*
@NotTodayEric: Welcome to your 40’s: that kid dressed up like a cop is a cop.