Me: *leaves body to science*
Science: *starts crying*
Them: I’m French Canadian what are you.
When I hear you call Starbucks “Starbies” I wanna run you over with my carbie.
Welcome to your 40s: that was a good cookie here’s four pounds.
Forget filters, just tell everyone you’re ten years older than you are and bam you’re gorgeous.
Welcome to your 40’s: everyone is twelve now.
Welcome to your 40’s: that kid acting like your doctor, is your doctor.
Welcome to your 40’s: that white stuff in your hair, is your hair.
Netflix: are you still watching
Alexa: yeah he’s here
I told my sons that we used to have to ask girls out and even break up face to face and the look of horror on their faces was priceless.