Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of NourHadidi's best tweets

@NourHadidi : I have social anxiety but am toxically polite. I faked plans to get out of talking to someone & then invited them to the fake plans.

@NourHadidi: How to stop checking someone's Facebook page:

1. Delete your Facebook profile
2. Break your phone
3. Give away your laptop
4. Die

@NourHadidi: The only ones awake 3am are the lonely & the loved.

And also the sick who have to take antibiotics & pain killers.

@NourHadidi: What does $50 get you at the Chanel store?

13 seconds of eye contact.

@NourHadidi: Act Like a Lady
Think Like a Man
Most importantly, talk in irrelevant cliches.

@NourHadidi: Arguing with your parents is like trying to explain how to download music from iTunes to a plant.

@NourHadidi: Last weekend, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie tied the knot in a small intimiate ceremony attended by 20 of their closest children.

@NourHadidi: "Sleep is for the dead". Yeah cos you look so alive when you're yawning. #stupidsayings

@NourHadidi: Overheard at work: "that is music to my ears". Where else would the music go smartypants?