@OMGSoOverIt

When a cop gives you a ticket for speeding he won’t be impressed when you tell him “I do this all the time.”

I know this now.

@OMGSoOverIt

How high are you when you try to change lanes during your spin class?

@OMGSoOverIt

Dance like your kid isn’t secretly making a TikTok to humiliate you.

@OMGSoOverIt

I cleaned out my closet using the “If you haven’t worn it in a year, get rid of it” rule.

So now the only things in my closet are sweatpants and skeletons.

@OMGSoOverIt

When a cop asks you to exit your vehicle, it’s not so he can take a selfie with you.

@OMGSoOverIt

Don’t key “You’re so cool” into the side of a police car while cop is still in the car.

Don’t ask me how I know this.

@OMGSoOverIt

(Standing naked in front of the mirrors, trying to figure out which one makes me look thinner)

Home Depot Manager: “If you don’t leave now, I’m calling the police.”

@OMGSoOverIt

Husband: You’re not present or that interested in what I have to say.

Me: I know, right?

@OMGSoOverIt

If by “anything” you mean “anything I can do from my couch,” then yes, I will do anything for you.